McKay's Bad Day
by bunjamina66
Summary: Rodney McKay is about to have one of the worst days of his life…


**McKay's Bad Day**

**By Flossy**

DISCLAIMER: The following story is a work of fan fiction, and as such is for fan enjoyment only. All recognizable characters/settings are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended, and no profit is made.

I'm afraid that despite wishing that I did, I don't own these characters. I've just borrowed them for a while. (Although, I may hang onto McKay and Sheppard for a bit longer – they're a lot of fun…)

Summary: Rodney McKay is about to have one of the worst days of his life…

Central Character(s): Rodney and John.

Category (ies): Angst, Drama, H/C, some humour.

Placement: Season Two, following "Grace Under Pressure", before "Coup d'Etat" – for reasons that will become obvious…

Rating: PG for some blood, violence, and minor language.

Spoilers: A bit for '38 Minutes' (but that's kind of old now!), 'Rising Part 2' and a bit more for 'Grace Under Pressure' (I suppose the same applies!)

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is the first piece of fan fiction I've ever written – I was a bit nervous about posting it, so please be nice! Any comments are welcome as long as they're constructive. I hope you enjoy reading it, and I apologise for any incorrect medical issues – dramatic license, people. I'm a Brit, by the way, hence the different spellings for certain words, but hopefully you won't hold that against me! Oh, and I make no apologies for the shameless McKay whumping...

___________________________________________________________________________

Dr Rodney McKay just knew it was going to be one of those days.

As he wearily stumbled into his lab, clutching a steaming hot cup of coffee, he tried to focus his sleep-tinted eyes on his workbench. It was, as per usual, a complete mess; bits of equipment, empty energy bar wrappers, a few small, newly discovered Ancient devices, notes and work journals, an empty coffee mug or three, and a couple of data pads were all scattered clumsily across the surface. McKay cursed at himself for being so messy and made a vague effort to sweep up the empty wrappers into a bin. After a few minutes of re-arranging, he finally had a space in front of him and set down his cup. He dragged a stool over, perching on it, stretching his tired limbs to try and get some life back into them. Shaking his head in a vain attempt to clear it, he took a gulp of the scalding hot caffeine and dragged his data pad across. As he turned it on, he saw the stream of notes he had made just a couple of hours earlier.

McKay and the notion of sleeping were an odd couple at the best of times, and today was no different. He had been dragged kicking and screaming – or, at least, ranting loudly – from his lab by Dr Radek Zelenka and Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard a couple of hours ago, taken to his quarters and told in no uncertain terms to get some sleep. In their defence, he _had_ been working solidly for nearly fifteen hours when they nabbed him. A part of him knew that they had done it for his own good, but McKay still felt annoyed to have been disturbed.

Still, he supposed, at least a couple of hours sleep was better than none at all, and he made a mental note to thank them later. He glanced at his watch – good grief, was it really 5.30 am? Taking another huge gulp of coffee to try and push out the fuzzy feeling in his head, he focused on the data pad.

After a couple of minutes reacquainting himself with what he had previously written, McKay started to type again. He looked up at his laptop and turned it on, quickly accessing the Ancient database for a reference. He was so engrossed that he didn't hear the soft footfalls behind him.

"Rodney! Damn it, I thought I told you to get some sleep!"

McKay jumped at the sound of Sheppard's voice, and then cursed as he knocked his coffee flying. Quickly retrieving a cloth, he mopped up the liquid before it managed to seep into any of his equipment. He looked over his shoulder and glowered at his team-mate, who was standing in the doorway of the lab, hands in pockets. Sheppard gave him a laid-back grin and McKay's withering glare eased off slightly.

"For your information, Colonel, after your little intervention I managed a couple of hours," McKay shot back. "Anyways, why aren't _you_ in bed? Or is this a case of pot, kettle, black? And how many times do I have to tell you – knock or make some kind of noise when you come in here, like a normal human being! If you're planning on giving me a heart attack, you're heading in the right direction."

Sheppard bit back a smile at the astrophysicist's mild ranting, running a hand through his hair. "Oh, come on, Rodney. Why spoil all my fun?" He wandered across to the workbench. "As for your question, I've already had plenty of sleep. Some of us don't try to work every single hour of every single day, you know." He gave McKay a rakish grin. "Besides, you've got to be stealthy in my job. Not much good otherwise."

"Yes, yes, I know. What's the good of creeping up on your enemies if they can hear you coming, right? When the military finally decided that was a good tactic, I very much doubt that they had envisioned it being put into practical use on friends and work colleagues." McKay let out a sigh, turned around fully and crossed his arms in his typical stance. "Is there a _reason_ you're loitering in my lab, or are you here merely to annoy me?" His eyes narrowed. "You better not have _broken_ anything."

Sheppard feigned a look of hurt indignation. "Oh, McKay, as if I'd ever try to _merely_ annoy you," he said lightly. "And you say that as if I'm _always_ breaking things." As Rodney frowned at him and raised an eyebrow, John's face grew serious. "Look, we all know that you're supposed to be a genius and everything, but even you've gotta take a break at some point, Einstein. Sleep deprivation is not a pretty sight."

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Oh come on, Sheppard. What makes you think I'm sleep deprived?"

John picked up Rodney's data pad and handed it to him. He pointed to the entry that the scientist had just made. "See for yourself."

McKay took the data pad irritably and started to read. He frowned then looked up with a slightly sheepish expression. "I've only just started, you know," he whined. "The caffeine hasn't fully kicked in yet." In his hands, the little computer screen displayed five or six lines of complete and utter gibberish. Feeling more than a little aggravated and embarrassed, he continued, "Besides, sleep and I are not happy bedfellows – no pun intended."

"I can see that," John sighed. "Please, McKay, just promise me you'll try to get at least four hours sleep on more than two consecutive nights?" He smiled as Rodney reluctantly nodded. "Okay. My work here is done." He turned to leave. "Oh, and you need to report to Elizabeth later. She wants a word."

"About what?" The Canadian gave him a puzzled stare.

Sheppard shrugged. "I dunno. You'll have to ask her yourself." He headed towards the door then turned back to McKay. "By the way, if I were you, I'd make sure that you'd put your trousers on the right way round _before_ leaving your lab." He pointed to the scientist's lower half and grinned.

McKay looked down, confused, and then realised that in his blurry headed haste to get back to work, he put his trousers on inside out. He picked up a journal and threw it in Sheppard's vague direction. "Get out of here," he grumbled.

Sheppard laughed and headed off down the corridor, while Rodney hastily rearranged his clothing.

___________________________________________________________________________

Later that morning, McKay made his way to Elizabeth's office. He'd managed to finish his earlier work in time to grab a shower and some breakfast, and was feeling decidedly more alert. Despite being reassured that he was no longer teetering on the verge of a hypoglycaemic reaction, he still couldn't shake the nagging feeling in the base of his stomach that the day was not going to run as smoothly as he would have liked.

Admittedly, it hadn't really helped that he'd had a brief, yet infuriating encounter with Kavanaugh – or the long streak of arrogance and petty-minded selfishness that the chemical engineer seemed to solely consist of.

"Dr McKay!" Even the man's voice annoyed Rodney. It reminded him of a braying mule, but he knew that simply ignoring the idiot behind him wouldn't have helped.

"What do you _want_, Kavanaugh? I'm a very busy man." McKay turned to see the long haired, pony tailed man smirking at him irritatingly.

"I just wanted to let you know that I've reported you to the SGC. It should make quite an interesting read for General Landry." His smirk grew wider.

"Again?! What is it _this_ time?" Rodney let out a weary sigh. Kavanaugh had reported him to the authorities back on Earth on no less than five separate occasions, each for the most miniscule, trivial things. Last time, it had been because Rodney had snapped at him during a meeting. _That man could make complaining a national sport_, McKay thought to himself.

Out loud, he said, "No, don't tell me. I'll hazard a guess. Does it have anything to do with your evaluation report?"

Kavanaugh glowered at him. "Yes, as a matter of fact, it does. You seem to have failed to take into consideration that I managed to save your life when you were stuck in that puddle jumper last year. In fact, you seem to have conveniently forgotten to include quite a number of important factors when writing…"

That was it. McKay wasn't having this. He'd had two hours sleep in the last forty eight and the last thing he needed was this idiot of a scientist berating him over the fact that he'd been bluntly honest in an evaluation.

Abandoning what little patience he had left, he finally lost his temper and saw red. "Kavanaugh, go to hell. Do you really think that anyone bothers to read your little reports? Every time you send one, the SGC take one look, see your name attached and send it straight to the bin. As for your evaluation, if you continue to act like an utter imbecile, then it'll be reflected in what I write. Would you rather I lied and said that you were actually a decent, well adjusted human being? Why don't you do us all a favour and keep that idiotic brain of yours locked up somewhere? God save us all if you actually start _using_ it. All you seem to be worried about is your own insignificant ass and making sure that it's covered."

Rodney was pleased to see that the chemical engineer was looking more than a bit embarrassed by the ranting. He gave Kavanaugh an unpleasant smile. "Now, was there anything else you wanted, or have you finished whining like a two year old?"

Kavanaugh stood looking at McKay, for once apparently lost for words. He looked around him; their little 'conversation' seemed to be drawing a rather large crowd. Shaking with humiliation, he pointed a finger threateningly at McKay. "You haven't heard the last of this. I promise you. You'll regret this." His voice shook.

McKay smiled at him again. "Whatever, Kavanaugh. I suggest you go and get on with some _real_ work. You know - the sort that they pay you for. In fact, the sort that _I_ pay you for. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting to get to." He turned and strode off, leaving a very angry, very embarrassed scientist in his wake.

McKay took a couple of deep breaths to try and calm his anger before meeting with Elizabeth. As much as he was loathe to admitting it, that had felt really good. He jogged up the stairs and along the balcony feeling pretty pleased with himself, making a note to annoy the hell out of Kavanaugh as much as possible in the foreseeable future.

He grinned as he realised that the chemical engineer was about due to be on the receiving end of one of the infamous 'McKay and Sheppard Practical Jokes' – he'd got a great idea, but would have to talk to the Colonel later.

He approached the doorway to the Weir's office and rapped his knuckles on the window as he ducked his head in.

Elizabeth Weir looked up from her laptop and frowned at him. "You look awful, Rodney. Have you even slept?"

Rodney walked in and sat down in one of the chairs opposite her desk, waving a hand dismissively. "Couple of hours. What did you want to see me about?"

Elizabeth stared at him through narrow eyes. She was going to have to do something about the sleeping issue. The man in front of her might be a genius, but as her Head Scientist, he needed to be on top of his game and not sleeping wasn't going to help. "I have a request. As you know, Dr Brannigan is currently in the infirmary recovering from an appendectomy."

Rodney nodded.

"And, his team is currently undertaking important research at an Ancient outpost they discovered on M8R-383," she continued.

"Is that the one with the lake?" he asked vaguely.

"They seem to have stumbled across a device that could be extremely useful in the fight against the Wraith," Elizabeth said, ignoring his remark. "They were in the middle of determining its purpose when Dr Brannigan was taken ill. I want to temporarily assign you to that team to study it."

McKay shifted unhappily in his seat. He hadn't liked where this conversation was heading and his now unease had just been dialled up a few more notches. "Why _me_?" he whined. "Why not Zelenka or Kavanaugh?" Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. "Okay, maybe not Kavanaugh, then," he conceded. "But why do _I_ have to go? I mean, come on, Elizabeth. There are plenty of other qualified scientists that could do this job. I'm in the middle of some really important research and…"

She cut him off. "Because I'm asking you, Rodney." She held up a hand to stop McKay from butting in. "I know you feel that your time is better spent elsewhere, but this could be equally important. Please."

McKay let out a frustrated sigh. He respected Elizabeth, but that didn't mean he had to take this lying down. He looked up at her, ready to launch into a long, detailed list of why he couldn't possibly be pulled away from his lab and grimaced – she had her _no is not an option_ face on. "Oh, all right," he muttered, resigned to the fact that he'd have to go and admitting defeat. "When do you want me to leave?"

"Right now. The rest of the team are already on site and will meet you at the Gate."

McKay got up and reluctantly headed for the door, ready to go and gear up. He'd only managed to take a couple of steps before he was stopped by Elizabeth. He turned back to her. "Was there something else?" he asked.

Elizabeth looked at him over the top of her outstretched arms, hand clasped together. "Rodney, when you get back, you will take a day off. Don't look at me like that," she said, as the scientist glowered at her. "Colonel Sheppard was kind enough to share his concerns about your sleeping habits and I'm in agreement with him. You'll be no good to anyone if you end up in the infirmary suffering from exhaustion. Is that clear enough?"

He gave her a lopsided smirk. "You can't make me."

She thought for a moment, and then grinned. "No, but I could have Carson administer one of his stronger sedatives. And I know how much you _hate_ needles."

___________________________________________________________________________

"Hey, McKay! Heard you're going off-world without us!"

McKay turned to see Sheppard, Ronon and Teyla walking towards him. He sighed. "Yes, it looks like it," he snapped. "Don't worry, this isn't permanent."

"Pity," Ronon replied with a smirk, not quite under his breath.

Teyla thumped him playfully before addressing McKay. "Please be careful, Rodney," she said, looking concerned.

"I'm _always_ careful!" replied McKay incredulously. "What makes you think I'd be anything but?"

"Well, there was that incident with the jumper last week," said Sheppard, noting the scientist's annoyed look and grinning. "You know, when you _accidentally_ grazed the fuselage on one of the towers on the West Pier?" John had found the incident incredibly funny, and any opportunity he got to tease the astrophysicist was taken.

"I'll have you know that I am in no way responsible for that little incident," said McKay hotly. "I hasten to remind you, Colonel, that _you_ were the one who was supposed to be giving me a lesson. If you'd paid more attention to what was going on in the cockpit rather than reading that stupid magazine, there wouldn't have been a problem."

"Hey, _you_ were the one flying the damn thing," Sheppard retorted. "That is, if that's what you'd call 'flying'. Seemed to me it was more like being on a broken rollercoaster."

"The technicians have only just managed to fix the jumper," said Ronon, grinning. "They weren't happy about it from what I heard. It seems that you made a hell of a mess."

"Look, why don't you all just go and play with your guns or something?" Rodney snapped, suddenly annoyed at being made fun of yet again. "Or do whatever it is you military types do in your free time. Instead of harassing me, you could be beating the hell out of each other with sticks, going on training missions to brush up on your 'military manoeuvres' or playing with stupidly dangerous amounts of C4."

His team-mates grinned, trying not to laugh at the astrophysicist's ranting.

McKay shifted his back pack and glanced at his watch. "Anyways, as much as I'd like waste yet _more_ of my precious time standing here having this little verbal sparring match, I have a planet to get to and an Ancient device to study. If I end up bringing back a way to defeat the Wraith, you won't be so smug then."

"Take it easy, McKay," said Sheppard lightly. "Just… don't do anything stupid."

"Last time I checked, Colonel, that was _your_ job not mine," McKay shot back with a smug grin. "I am a genius after all."

___________________________________________________________________________

Rodney's world exploded in a shower of pain and debris as he regained consciousness. He just knew something like this was going to happen. He'd had that gut feeling as he'd woken up and it had been steadily getting worse all day. He tried to move and cried out in agony, clutching at his right hand side. Shaking, and breathing raggedly, he pulled his hand away and whimpered when he saw it was covered in what appeared to be blood.

_What's going on?_

He felt dizzy – he hated the sight of blood. It was bad enough seeing it when it belonged to someone else, but his own? He screwed his eyes shut and swallowed hard. "You are _not_ going to faint," he muttered to himself. "Pass out from manly hunger maybe, but you don't _faint_."

He opened his eyes again, glanced down and saw a large piece of metal jutting out of the side of his ribcage. Blood was pooling out of the wound and it seemed to be throbbing in time to his own frantic heartbeat. Oh dear God, there was so much… Clenching his jaw, he tugged at his vest and pulled out a bandage. It wouldn't do much good, but it might help stop the bleeding for a while. Almost screaming with pain, he wrapped it around both the metal and his chest then pulled it tight, sighing in relief as he saw the flow of the red liquid start to ease up.

_Why do I have metal sticking out of my ribcage?_

He lay back for a moment, trying to control his breathing – hyperventilating was not going to help him. He _had_ to stay calm. If he panicked, he'd be as good as dead. He shuddered at that thought and pushed it to the back of his mind. Time to start thinking. Assess the situation.

_Where the hell am I? Where's the rest of my team? _

He frowned as he tried to remember. A knot of panic bit into him as he realised that he was alone. Alone, injured and… oh boy. He was off-world, wasn't he? M8R-383. That was really great. Way to go, McKay.

He gritted his teeth as the panic blossomed into full blown fear and began wash over him. Was he really going to die out here? What if the others couldn't find him, or waited too long to start a rescue? What would happen then? _Shut up_, he thought to himself. _Stop it, stay calm and focus._

He thought back to when he'd stepped though the Gate. Brannigan's team had been there as promised and they'd set off for the outpost. It had been a fairly pleasant walk through the field, with the building situated about two miles from the Gate.

In truth, 'building' wasn't really the right word; it was actually an old stone den, mostly in ruins. Moss and various other plants had overgrown, and he'd seen the fresh path that Brannigan's team had managed to clear. From the looks of things, it appeared to have been vacant for a very long time – hardly surprising since the planet was unpopulated. The team had led him into the enclosed section and he'd seen the device in question – a huge, chamber like structure, almost identical to the stasis pods they'd found back in the city. But this one was different somehow.

After a preliminary scan with his handheld Ancient scanner, he'd started to cross-reference the symbols with the database on his laptop. He remembered getting excited about something, but he couldn't recall what that was. All he could picture was the explosion that came from outside. They'd run out and seen something…

Rodney struggled to remember. It was something that was definitely not good. He rubbed distractedly at his head, urging himself to think harder, and then frowned as his fingers touched something warm and sticky. Quickly, he pulled his hand down and groaned as he saw yet more blood. He'd hit his head. Just how much more screwed could he possibly be?

His claustrophobia reared its ugly head and his breathing started to get faster. Feeling dizzy and disorientated, he looked around for an exit of any sort and to his relief, saw a small opening to his left. This was good. He wasn't shut off from the outside world. He still had a chance.

As his eyes adjusted to the gloom that surrounded him, he could make out chunks of rock and stone that lay crumpled and scattered, presumably from the outpost. With a start, he realised that one particularly large piece was lying across his left leg. Fighting to remain calm, he tried shifting his leg from under it and gasped in pain. Great – it was probably broken. That was all he needed. His 'how-screwed-am-I?' quota was getting bigger by the minute. The fear began to give way to anger and he started to rant at himself.

"You're such an idiot, McKay! Why do you get yourself into these situations? Why did you let yourself get talked into doing this? You could have said no, but you agreed! Sure, you said, I'll go. Well, I went and now I'm stuck here slowly bleeding to death!"

He stopped abruptly as he began to cough violently. Each movement caused the pain in his side to increase in strength and he gasped for air. Then everything went blissfully dark.

___________________________________________________________________________

"Any word yet?"

Sheppard was decidedly anxious. Bateman and the others should have been back by now. In fact, they should have been back over an hour ago, and had already missed their designated check in. Something was wrong.

Elizabeth shook her head. "No. We've tried contacting them, but there's been no response. Sergeant Bateman did say that reception could get a bit hazy in certain areas, but this doesn't feel right."

John nodded. "Are we certain the planet's unoccupied?"

She returned his nod with one of her own. "From what Zelenka's been able to find in the Ancient database, it's been abandoned for centuries." A worried look settled on her face. "You don't think…?"

"No. Like you said, it could just be technical difficulties with the radios." Sheppard frowned. "But that doesn't explain why they're not back yet."

She drummed on the central console, her face tense. "I know McKay's missed check-ins before when he's found something exciting, but this is different somehow."

"Well, that settles it. I'll take my team, plus some extra hands and see what's going on," John replied, heading for the stairs.

Although Sheppard's voice was calm, Elizabeth could see that his eyes betrayed the apprehension he was feeling. She gave him a brief smile.

John thought for a moment, and then called back to Elizabeth. "Oh, and you'd better put Carson on standby with a medical team just in case." He bounded down the steps.

"John," she called, making him stop halfway down. He turned and looked back up at her. "Bring them home, won't you?"

"You bet I will."

___________________________________________________________________________

McKay opened his eyes, hoping that it was a bad dream and groaning as he realised that it wasn't. He gingerly felt the bandage on his side; it was completely soaked through. He pulled out a second and wrapped it over the top, sobbing in pain, gritting his teeth against the rising nausea he felt in his stomach. Scalding himself for being such a wimp, he secured the dressing and took a couple of deep breaths. For a moment or two, he contemplated closing his eyes and giving into the pain and blackness.

No. He couldn't do that. He had to stay awake. Sheppard and the others were probably on their way. He just had to hold on for a little bit longer.

But it was so hard. All he wanted to do was sleep. He didn't want to have to fight anymore…

"Dammit, Rodney McKay!" he growled at himself. "Stop being such a baby!" A faint smile passed over his face as he suddenly recalled something that Sheppard had said to him once.

"_There's plenty of time to solve this thing, but you've gotta stop using your mouth and start using your brain."_

Admittedly, he'd been in a puddle jumper that was stuck in a space Gate at the time, and Sheppard had that Goddamn Iratus bug stuck to his neck, but the same principle applied here. After all, he was trapped wasn't he? So he was on his own, but if he could just hang on, maybe he'd get through this.

McKay was the first to admit that being optimistic wasn't a trait that he was in possession of. It was one of many faults and quirks that made up the scientist –one of his more negative qualities, along with his reluctance to form any close friendships or bonds with people. He'd had too many bad experiences in the past, too many blows to his confidence. He found that it was easier to keep people at a distance, to remain detached. It was less painful.

But somehow, while he'd been in the Pegasus Galaxy, he'd managed to develop a number of friendships. He even had something resembling a family.

He was especially surprised by the relationship he'd developed with Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard. The two of them were complete polar opposites, yet they seemed to complement each other. To say they were an odd couple was an understatement, but as they'd gotten to know each other, a close bond had formed. One of the results was that the Colonel's continual _never say die_ attitude had slowly started to rub off on the brash scientist. The Air Force pilot had somehow managed to instil in Rodney some of his seemingly infectious _joie de vivre_, although the astrophysicist had no idea how. Maybe it was the Colonel's irritatingly laid-back attitude, or his inanely winsome grin.

McKay smiled at that thought. John Sheppard was a good man, and Rodney McKay had started to become a better person for knowing him.

"_We don't leave our people behind."_

That was another one of Sheppard's little gems. It was almost like the man's personal mantra. At times, McKay was convinced that if he'd sliced Sheppard down the middle, he'd find those words written inside him like a stick of rock.

"_We don't leave our people behind."_

Hang on a minute…

His eyes widened as the thought struck him. He managed to hold up his arm far enough to bring his watch into focus. Okay, it had been nearly three hours since they were supposed to check in with Atlantis, and they should have been back in just under two. So, supposing they would wait for an hour, that meant that help would be with him soon. He just had to concentrate on staying calm, warm and alive.

A chunk of memory surfaced in his brain. The team had run outside to find the source of the explosion and seen… McKay's eyes widened in terror and his mouth went dry.

Oh God, it had been a Wraith cruiser, hadn't it?

"_McKay! Take Jones and get back inside!" Sergeant Bateman screamed at him._

"_What about you?" McKay yelled back._

"_We'll be with you in a minute! Just get out of sight!"_

_The two scientists fled back into the outpost, hiding down behind the device. In the distance, McKay heard gunshots and the distinctive sound of a Wraith stunner. Then one of the soldiers screamed out in agony over a strange hiss; McKay recognised that sound and felt sick. It was a Wraith, presumably feeding on them. Shaking, he turned to Jones._

"_Jones? Jones, look at me!"_

_The woman looked up, face white with terror. "Oh, God! We're going to die, aren't we? They're gonna find us and feed and…"_

_McKay cut her off, gently holding her shoulders. "Abby, I need you to listen to me. It's gonna be fine. We're gonna be fine, but you've got to stay calm and keep quiet. Okay?"_

_Jones nodded mutely at him, and then clutched at his arm in fear when they saw two Wraith drones walk into the room. They hadn't appeared to have seen them; to be honest, they seemed to be more interested in their task than anything else. _

_They were planting what appeared to be explosives – or at least Wraith versions of them – around the room. McKay held his breath as they came close to where he and Jones were hiding, but they ignored them._

_Then, task apparently complete, they left. Jones, however, was almost hysterical. Fighting off McKay's attempts to restrain her, she jumped up and started to run back outside. "Jones! Jones, what the hell do you think you're doing?" McKay hissed angrily at her. "Get back here!" He started to edge forwards to grab her._

_But it was no good. Before either McKay could reach her or she could make it to the doorway, a blast from a Wraith stunner shot into the entrance. Jones managed to weave around it, and was in the process of running back to Rodney's hiding place, when a Wraith commander entered with two drones. _

_Fear gripped Rodney - he froze and crouched back down against a wall, praying that he hadn't been spotted. His legs felt like they were made out of lead and for a few seconds, all he could hear was the drumming of his rapid heartbeat._

_Abby wasn't fast enough. The drones grabbed her by the arms, holding her in front of their commander. She struggled fiercely, but couldn't shake the grip on her arms. He snarled and without warning, plunged his hand onto her chest. _

_McKay desperately wanted to look away, but the woman's screams kept his eyes glued to the gruesome scene. As the Wraith hissed in delight, Jones began to wither and age. The astrophysicist bit down on his knuckles to stop himself from crying out. Time seemed to stand still – seconds felt hours. An eternity seemed to pass and all he could hear were Abby's screams of fear and pain. _

_He desperately wanted to help her, to put an end to her suffering, but he couldn't. He couldn't make his arm move down to his pistol holster. He couldn't do it. He was too much of a coward. _

_Then the screaming stopped. _

_McKay thought that she was dead, but a soft moan from his fellow scientist told him otherwise. Jerking his head, the drones followed the commander out of the entrance, dragging Jones with them._

_In the distance, Rodney heard the engines of the cruiser become fainter. Waiting for a couple of minutes, he ventured back outside._

_McKay almost had a heart attack when he saw the body of a Wraith drone nearby, but after a quick glance, he saw that it was dead, riddled with bullets. A sudden glint of metal caught his eye and he spun around; Captain Ryan, or the husk that had once been him, was lying on the grass. _

_Queasiness seized McKay's stomach and he doubled over to retch. There was no sign of Bateman – presumably, the Wraith had taken him too. _

_He was about to make a run for the Gate, when for some reason, he decided to go back into the chamber. _

Laptop, he remembered. He needed his laptop. It was important.

_Finding it intact and where he'd left it, McKay grabbed it and turned to leave. _

_Then the bombs exploded._

___________________________________________________________________________

"Okay, split up, teams of two. I want a full sweep of this area. Find anything and you can contact me on channel two. Smith, White, I want you two to stay here and cover the gate. Clear?"

Sheppard rounded up his troops. He had eight marines, Ronon and Teyla. He looked at them as the marines started to head off in various directions. John grimaced as Teyla turned to him; he recognised her expression. He'd seen it far too many times. "What is it?"

She frowned. "I can not be sure, but there may have been Wraith here."

Sheppard felt sick. Part of him prayed that Teyla was wrong, but he knew that so far, she never had been even slightly off on this subject. "Are they still here?"

She shook her head. "I do not believe so." She frowned again, looking confused. "As I said, I can not be sure. It is…" she trailed off, struggling to find the right word. "…_Strange_. I suppose it is what you would call a mixed signal."

Sheppard didn't like the sound of that.

"Why would the Wraith come here?" Ronon asked, immediately setting his blaster to 'kill'. "It's a deserted planet. No food."

Sheppard shook his head mutely, unsure of an answer. "Any ideas as to which way we should go?" he asked. "I don't know about you two, but I have no idea where this outpost is meant to be."

The Satedan knelt down and examined the ground for a minute or two. Standing slowly and looking around, he gave Sheppard a small nod. "That way," he said, pointing. "Tracks are heading in that direction, so it's a pretty good bet."

Clenching his jaw, John jerked his head in the direction of the outpost. "Come on," he said. "Ronon, you take point, Teyla, you're on our six." He flicked the safety catch on his P-90. "Keep your eyes open. We may have some unwelcome company."

___________________________________________________________________________

McKay thought he'd heard something, but it was difficult to tell. There was a strange buzzing filling his ears that sounded a lot like white noise, and that combined with the blood loss could have been messing with his senses. He briefly wondered if it had been caused by his close encounter with the Wraith equivalent of C4.

"_Ryan?"_

No, he'd _definitely_ heard that. The static in his ears was fading and he recognised an all-too familiar voice issuing faintly from somewhere near his head.

"_Bateman? Do you copy?"_

McKay frowned, trying to work out where the voice had come from. He knew that voice. Why the hell could he hear a voice? There was no one else in the chamber with him. He held up a hand to the gash on his head and grimaced. Was he really that far gone? Maybe he was hallucinating again, like he did when he'd been trapped underwater in that jumper a few months ago.

_Get a grip, McKay…_

Then, his heart pounding, he realised – his radio. He reached up to his ear, but found that it had been knocked out of place in the blast. He glanced around. It had to be here somewhere.

"_McKay? Rodney, if you're there, I need you to talk to me."_

Sheppard. Sheppard was here. McKay felt a sudden surge of hope. Everything was going to be alright. His chances of survival were steadily improving. Where was his damned radio?

Looking around as best he could, he managed to spot it to his left. He reached out an arm, trying to grab the earpiece, and whimpered when he found his hand stopped a couple of inches short.

He stretched out, yelling in pain as the metal tore further into his flesh, trying desperately to move closer. His hand inched slowly forward and he managed to hook a finger around the earpiece. He quickly tugged it back, gasping from the exertion, and slotted it into place. Tears of pain and relief ran down his waxy face, mixing with the thin sheen of sweat that covered him.

"Sheppard," he gasped. "Help me."

___________________________________________________________________________

"McKay! Where are you?" Sheppard stopped walking so abruptly that Teyla and Ronon had to turn back to him. He could barely hear the astrophysicist, motioning for the others to stay quiet.

"…_Outpost," _came the weak reply.

"Okay, buddy, just hang on. We're on our way." They began to run.

___________________________________________________________________________

It was going to be okay. His team were here. They'd find him and he'd be safe and sound in no time. Rodney began coughing again, and wiped a hand across his mouth. When he looked at it, he saw a smear of blood. He was no MD, as he'd told that Scottish witch doctor on several occasions, but even he knew that wasn't so good.

God, he wished Carson was here. He'd give just about anything to hear the man's thick Scottish brogue, to see his reassuring grin. Hell, he'd even settle for Beckett in a temper…

He gasped in air, struggling to breathe. It shouldn't have been this difficult. Why couldn't he breathe? After all, it was something he'd done every day up until this point, wasn't it? So why was it suddenly such a battle? His chest felt like it was being pumped full of scalding hot liquid.

_Come on, McKay. Just a bit longer…_

"_Rodney? I need you to talk to me." _ Sheppard's voice crackled through his radio.

"…Hurry," he croaked weakly.

"_It's okay, we're nearly there."_

"It hurts…" He broke off in a spasm of coughing.

Outside, Sheppard picked up his pace. "Rodney, you've gotta stay calm. What hurts? Are you injured?"

Back inside, McKay groaned. "Yeah… I'm bleeding. I can't move. My leg's trapped… I hit my head…" Every word was painful and it was becoming increasingly difficult for him to stay awake. Black spots floated across his crimson tinted vision; he screwed up his eyes and shook his head, trying to stay alert and ignore the thumping pain.

When he opened them again, his heart nearly stopped in terror. Stood not far from him was a Wraith drone. It began to walk over to him…

___________________________________________________________________________

"Rodney? Rodney! Come in!" John pulled a face. "Dammit."

"What is it?" asked Ronon.

"I don't know," replied Sheppard. "The line just went dead."

"That's not a good sign," muttered Ronon darkly.

John shot him a sideways glance. "I know what you mean."

They stopped in front of the remnants of the outpost. It was nothing more than a heap of charred rubble. Their eyes quickly found the remains of Captain Ryan, lying unceremoniously on the grass. John bent down and retrieved the dead man's tags, fighting back the sickness and grief. He looked up at Ronon, who just nodded mutely. "We'll have to get a team to collect his body," Sheppard said softly.

Teyla crouched down next to him. "John, there _is_ a Wraith here," she said urgently, grabbing his arm. "It is close by."

They stood up, looking around. "Where?" Sheppard hissed, his hands clutching at his P-90.

"In there." Teyla pointed at the rubble. Spotting a small opening, Sheppard nodded towards it and they made their way inside.

___________________________________________________________________________

"Please…" McKay panted, terrified. "Don't…"

After snatching the radio from McKay's ear, the drone tilted its head at him, as if puzzled by the astrophysicist's pleas. It held the radio up, examining it, and then dropped it to the floor, crushing it under its boot.

McKay desperately tried to reach for his pistol in his leg holster, but every movement caused the molten hot pain in his side and chest to intensify. He knew Sheppard and the others were close. All he had to do was buy his team a little more time.

"Look," he managed to say, a little more forcefully. "You really, _really_ don't… want to eat me. I'd… give you indigestion."

The drone knelt down and McKay could see that it had been injured; there were holes in its armour, presumably from one of the soldiers' guns. He felt a wave of nausea wash over him as he realised that it was the same drone he'd seen lying on the ground outside. It had probably been playing dead. Why hadn't he checked it more thoroughly, or put another round of bullets into it to make sure?

The Wraith grabbed McKay's jacket and tugged it open sharply, causing the scientist to cry out in agony. It ran a finger slowly across his chest, toying with him.

"No…" Rodney whimpered. "Don't…"

The Wraith drew back its hand, ready to strike.

McKay closed his eyes and prepared to die.

Then he opened them as he heard the distinctive sound of P-90 fire and Ronon's blaster. Looking up at the drone, he saw it crumple to the ground with a grunt. Sheppard stepped into the chamber and put another round into it for good measure. McKay flinched as the bullets hit the prone body.

"Rodney!"

McKay looked up and saw Sheppard's concerned face looking back down at him. Relief swept through him; he never in a million years thought that he'd be so glad to see the Colonel's rakish good looks.

"Sheppard," he croaked, struggling to sit up. Behind Sheppard, he saw Ronon kick the body of the Wraith to one side. The black spots returned and he felt disorientated; the floor seemed to be spinning underneath him.

"No, no! Don't move. I need you to try to stay still." Sheppard glanced at the wound to McKay's side and grimaced: it was a hell of a mess. Then he noticed the blood around the scientist's mouth – damn. With the way that his team-mate was struggling to take in oxygen, John figured that it was a punctured lung. Not good.

The Canadian's eyes closed and the Colonel suddenly felt the scientist go limp in his hands. "No you don't, McKay! Don't even think about it! We didn't come all this way to get you so you could give up on us!" He gently shook Rodney and was relieved when the astrophysicist's eyes opened. "Okay, I'm gonna make you a bit more comfortable," he said, as he tugged off his vest and jacket, "and then we'll see about getting you outta here." Rolling the jacket into a ball, he gently lifted Rodney's head and placed it underneath, providing an impromptu pillow. He pulled on his flak jacket again.

"Cold…" Rodney gasped through chattering teeth, suddenly unable to stop his body from shivering. Each spasm brought a fresh band of pain. "I'm cold…"

"It's alright, keep still. You've started to go into shock." Sheppard tugged out an emergency blanket from his pack and wrapped it gently around McKay's shaking body. "Looks like you've managed to get yourself pretty banged up," he said.

McKay drew in a couple of short, painful breaths. "Looks… like it."

Sheppard checked the dressing that Rodney had managed to apply to his side, and then looked over at the debris that was crushing his friend's leg. "Okay, buddy, we're gonna get this lump of rock off you. I need you to stay as still as you can."

McKay nodded as Sheppard stood up and jerked his head at Ronon. The Satedan had been carefully clearing the debris that was obstructing the entrance.

"Can you give me a hand, big guy?"

Teyla knelt down beside Rodney, as Sheppard and Ronon carefully picked their way over to the rocks. "Rodney," she said softly, trying not to look alarmed as she saw how pale the scientist was and how bad his injuries were.

"Teyla…" Rodney caught hold of her hand.

"It will be alright. You are safe now," she said, as reassuringly as she could. She reached into her vest and pulled out a smaller bandage to apply to McKay's head wound. She saw Rodney's eyes begin to droop and she grabbed his arm. "Come on, Rodney. Stay with me."

Reluctantly, he opened his eyes. "Looks like… I'll have to… have that day off…" McKay wheezed.

She frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"Elizabeth. She… wanted me to… take a day off…" He winced as Teyla finished applying the bandage and started rocking, trying to fight off the pain.

"Rodney, you've gotta keep _really_ still," Sheppard called back to him. He turned to Ronon – Teyla saw them having a brief discussion, each one indicating different parts of the fallen stonework. After a couple of minutes, Sheppard nodded and knelt down. The Athosian saw him pull a face before he stood up again. "Sorry," he said, "but this is gonna hurt."

McKay groaned, clutching at Teyla's hand.

"McKay, you ready?" Ronon called.

He nodded and Teyla called back to them. "Ready!"

Sheppard looked across at Ronon. "On three. One… two… _three_!" They tugged the rock upwards sharply and McKay let out an involuntary scream.

Teyla clutched at his hand. "Rodney, you must be still," she said quietly, trying to ease the scientist's pain. "You will make your injuries worse."

"Don't… don't do that… again…" Rodney gasped.

"Sorry, little man," said Ronon. "Had to be done."

Sheppard reappeared next to Teyla and motioned that they should swap places. The Athosian nodded, giving Rodney's hand one final squeeze before moving to join the ex-runner.

As his team-mates moved the rock out of the way, John knelt down to inspect the damage. "Looks okay, Rodney. It's a clean break, so you probably won't need pins or anything. One less needle to worry about, huh?"

He warily made his way back up to the astrophysicist; McKay was still rocking from side to side in an attempt to ease the pain, groaning softly. His hand clawed at the dirt as he tried to suck in air. "Beckett'll be here in no time," he said, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder, trying to calm him. "He'll fix you up and you'll be back to your annoying self in no time." He gave Rodney a quirky grin. "I thought I told you not to do anything stupid."

"…Sorry…" came the faint reply.

"No, none of that, McKay," the Colonel said sharply, grabbing hold of Rodney's other hand. "I don't want to hear it."

"Had a bad day," McKay whispered.

"Looks like you did," Sheppard replied softly.

"They took… Bateman and Jones," Rodney sobbed softly, coughing. Sheppard needed to know this. It was important. "Captain Ryan…"

The Air Force man cut him off, his face full of sympathy. "It's okay. Don't think about that right now. I need you to stop trying to talk and start to concentrate on your breathing."

"It hurts…" McKay gasped. "Can't you… take the edge off… a little?" He looked at Sheppard with pleading eyes.

John grimaced. "Sorry, Rodney. You've suffered a pretty bad head wound and you've probably got concussion. Carson'll do his nut if I give you any painkillers before he has a look at you."

"To hell with… that voodoo idiot…"

Sheppard grinned – that was more like the Rodney McKay he knew. "Now, now, McKay, play nice. You know damn well there's no place in either this Galaxy or the next to hide from Beckett's wrath."

"…C-Coward…"

"Well, given a choice between fighting the Wraith or facing off to Carson in a bad mood, I'd choose the Wraith any day."

"Fair… point." McKay groaned and closed his eyes. "Can I… at least… go to sleep?"

"No, I need you to stay awake for a bit longer." Sheppard squeezed Rodney's shoulder. "As soon as the doc gets here and says it's okay, you can sleep for as long as you want."

"You're… a sadist, Sheppard."

"You love me really. Now shut up and think about your breathing." John bent forward. "Teyla, stay with him, keep him warm and awake." He looked across at Ronon. "I need a clear path for the rescue team." He straightened up as he tapped his radio. "Smith, I need you to dial Atlantis. Get Beckett and a med team here ASAP."

"_Yes, sir."_

"West? Any sign of the others?" he asked softly, moving away from McKay so as not to cause him further distress.

"_Negative, sir."_

"Understood. Fall back to the Gate and await further instructions." He looked back down at McKay, full of a mixture of conflicting emotions. "Ready to go home?" he asked.

___________________________________________________________________________

"Doc? Hey, doc! I think he's coming around."

McKay _knew_ that voice.

He could feel the cotton sheets of the bed he was in, smelt the clinical hospital aroma of the infirmary and had heard someone talking, but everything was black. He could hear, but why couldn't he see anything?

"Rodney, can you hear me, son?"

McKay groaned. He realised that he couldn't see due to the fact that his eyes were still closed.

"Colonel, can you stay with him for a moment? I need to get something from my office."

"Sure thing, doc."

"Good lad. I'll be back in a jiffy."

Every part of Rodney's body hurt. It felt like he'd been blown up. Oh, wait a minute, that was what had happened, wasn't it?

"Come on, sleeping beauty. Time to get up."

The voice coming from beside him was still talking. For the love of God! Didn't they know what sleep was?

"Hey, McKay! How're you feeling?"

Rodney turned his head in the direction of the voice and opened his eyes. He stared out blearily at the unfocused form in front of him until it resembled John Sheppard. He let out a soft groan.

"You had us really worried for a while there," said Sheppard. "We didn't think you were going to make it."

McKay ran his tongue over his dry lips and coughed, wincing at the pain from his chest and side. "You and me both," he replied in a hoarse croak. "Would you get me some water?"

Sheppard reached around, retrieving the always present cup. He then helped McKay sit up in his bed before supporting the cup in front of his team-mate's mouth. "Just small sips, buddy," he cautioned.

Although he'd never admit it to anyone, Sheppard had held a vigil over Rodney while he was recovering from his surgery. The thought that the scientist had almost failed to pull through made him feel physically sick, not helped by the fact that there had been a couple of terrifying moments that were far too close for comfort. His relief at seeing McKay awake and, more importantly, talking was massive.

All he needed now was a sarcastic comment aimed at him, and John would know that McKay would be fine.

He had to confess that McKay and he were a strange pairing; it was like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The ingredients shouldn't have worked together, but somehow they did. The same was true of their personalities – a laid back, charming, occasionally reckless adrenaline junkie of a military commander and an uptight, loud mouthed scientist with an ego the size of a city should have been a match made in hell, but something just clicked.

In truth, and under any other circumstances, John would never have chosen a man like Rodney McKay as a friend – the scientist was arrogant, sarcastic, and a raging hypochondriac, but Sheppard had seen that underneath the egotistical bluster, McKay had a heart of gold. He was still unsure as to the reason why their friendship worked, but some things you just didn't argue with.

After he'd quenched his thirst, McKay pushed the glass away and glanced around. He saw the tubes and IV lines connected to various parts of his body and started to feel queasy. He looked like a damned pin cushion… Carson was going to get it for this. That Highland quack _knew_ how much McKay hated needles. He shifted his view back to Sheppard, trying to take his mind off the prickling sensation that he could feel in his hands. "How long have I been here?"

"Couple of weeks," Sheppard replied, trying not to smile as he saw McKay's look of annoyance. "Like I said, it was touch and go for a while." He tugged over a chair and sat down, propping his legs on the bed next to Rodney's.

McKay leaned back into his pillow and stared at the ceiling. "What about the others?" he asked quietly.

Sheppard shook his head sadly. "No sign of them. We brought Ryan home. We can't send him home like that so it'll be an empty casket, but Halling's agreed to a burial on the mainland." He looked across at McKay – Rodney was still avoiding his gaze.

"I tried to stop her... Jones. She just ran out. She…" McKay's voice started to crack, but he made himself carry on. He had to tell someone what had happened. He had to tell John. "I should've held on to her. Should've tried harder. It's my fault."

"No," John said forcefully. "You did your best."

"Wasn't good enough." His throat felt tight and his eyes burned.

"Rodney, you were outnumbered and outgunned. Not to mention the fact that you managed to get yourself blown up! You're still here and that's good enough for me."

He was spared from replying by Carson Beckett entering. "Rodney! It's good to see you awake!"

McKay looked up to see the Scotsman hurrying across to his bed, smiling in relief. "Carson," he mumbled.

Beckett took out a penlight and flashed it in front of McKay's eyes. "Do you know where you are, son?" he asked.

"In Hawaii, where do you think?" McKay shot back weakly. Beside him, John grinned. If the sarcasm was back then that was definitely a good sign.

"Now, Rodney, don't be so bloody facetious," said Carson. He continued his exams, then straightened up, apparently satisfied that his patient was on the mend. "Well, you'll be pleased to hear that you're going to be fine," he motioned to Rodney's leg, "although you'll be on crutches for a while I'm afraid."

McKay groaned softly. "That's great, Carson. Thanks for stating the blatantly obvious."

Carson smiled and placed a hand on Rodney's shoulder. "All part of the service, lad," he said, winking at John. "If you promise to behave, you can leave in a couple of days." He motioned to Sheppard, who stood up.

"I'll be back later, Rodney. Do you want anything?"

McKay shook his head, and then leaned against his pillow.

Sheppard followed Carson into his office. "So, is he going to be okay, doc?"

Beckett frowned then nodded. He looked exhausted. "Aye. I hate to admit it, but Rodney McKay will be back to his old self in no time." He paused for a moment. "Well, physically, at least – I'm not so sure about his mental state. He's had a hell of a shock and no mistake." He looked up at Sheppard, who nodded. "There's still a small infection from the side wound to deal with, but a course of antibiotics should clear that up nicely. And I'll need to keep a close eye on the lung the metal punctured, but his concussion's healed." He sighed. "He was incredibly lucky. If you'd gotten there any later, God only knows what would have happened."

John reached out and put a hand on Carson's shoulder; he could feel the man shaking gently, and understood his worries. After all, it wasn't every day that you found one of your friends in that sort of state. He still marvelled at how Beckett managed to remain detached enough to be able to treat them. "Easy, doc," he said gently. "We got him."

Carson patted John's hand. "Aye, I know." He gave the Colonel a grin. "I swear that man's stubborn, pig-headedness is what pulled him through."

They looked back at McKay, who was once again staring at the ceiling, momentarily lost in his thoughts. He started scratching at the needle in his hand, fiddling with the tube that ran from it.

"Rodney McKay, you leave that bloody IV line alone! D'you hear me?" Carson called out irritably.

"I can't help it!" McKay snapped back. "It itches!"

John grinned. "Well, doc, you know McKay."

___________________________________________________________________________

A few days later, McKay was allowed to leave the infirmary. He'd had a string of visitors before he'd been discharged; Teyla, Elizabeth, Zelenka and even Ronon had come by to see how he was doing. After a bit of coaxing, wheedling, bribery and even a few well-placed threats, Rodney had eventually learned that Sheppard had been by his bedside almost constantly. On one occasion the Colonel had to be physically pried away – that amazed him. He felt a deep sense of admiration and respect for his team leader, but his ego would never let him tell Sheppard that in person.

As he made his way unsteadily back to his lab, hindered by both his crutches and Zelenka, Kavanaugh once again appeared to make his life a misery.

"Well, well, well," Kavanaugh taunted. "Looks like someone had a bit of bad luck."

"Kavanaugh, I'm not in the mood for a fight. Just go away," McKay sighed wearily.

Kavanaugh, however, was having none of it. "I can't say that I'm surprised," he said, leering unpleasantly. "Mind you, it's not every day that you find out that our Chief Scientist let three good people die at the hands of the Wraith." He played with his pony tail and smirked at McKay, daring him to fight back.

"Just beat it." McKay was suddenly tired. He didn't have the strength or the energy to take on the chemical engineer in a battle of wits. His side ached and all he wanted to do was settle down and get some work done in the relative peace and quiet of his lab.

In fact, he just wanted to run away and hide, away from the stares and the rumours and the whispers…

_To shut everyone out… _

Rodney tried to move around him, but Kavanaugh side-stepped him, seemingly determined for round two.

"Oh, don't worry, Dr McKay," he said, unaware that Zelenka was glowering at him. "I'm sure that if you hadn't survived Dr Weir would have found a suitable replacement. Probably one with better people skills too."

"You miserable little man." The response had not come from McKay, but from Zelenka. "You stand there and have the…" he muttered something in Czech before translating it, "… the _gall_ to speak like that?"

"Radek, don't… just leave it," said McKay, not wanting to provide Kavanaugh with any more ammunition that he already had.

"No, Rodney, I will not _leave_ it." Radek took a step closer to the chemical engineer. "You have no idea what happened on that planet. You have no idea how close we came to losing a friend and yet you say he can be easily _replaced_?"

In front of him, Kavanaugh was starting to feel a little unnerved by the Czech's sudden and unexpected outburst.

"Look, Zelenka, everyone on Atlantis came here knowing that they might not come back. It's a tragic way to think, but, dare I use the word, people on this expedition are _expendable_. If one of them goes, there are at least three others to take their place."

Radek couldn't believe what he was hearing. "What?!"

Next to him, McKay was staring at the chemical engineer in a mix of disgust and shock, seemingly lost for words.

"It's true. In fact I think you'll find that…"

Radek cut him off, shaking with barely suppressed rage. "_Expendable_? You…" he cursed in his native language, making McKay wince – he'd spent enough time around the engineer to pick up the odd curse here and there. "Rodney is worth a dozen of you, Kavanaugh. More than that, even. You stand there and feel important because you think you have moral high ground…"

"I don't think, I _know_. Dr McKay can't be that valuable if he has to rely on you to fight his battles for him."

Radek had heard more than enough. Without a moment's hesitation, he drew back his arm and punched Kavanaugh squarely in the face. The chemical engineer lost his footing and tumbled to the floor, staring up in shock and pain. Radek leant down over him.

"You are a heartless, mean, worthless man. To have you as a member of Atlantis is disgrace to everyone. If I were you, I would go find little dark hole and hide there. That is where you belong."

Kavanaugh staggered to his feet, clutching his jaw. Giving them a look of sheer contempt, he walked off, muttering darkly under his breath about 'formal charges for personal assault'.

Rodney looked at Zelenka dumbfounded. "Radek…"

"No. It's fine, Rodney." He shook his stinging hand. "That felt…" again, he mumbled in Czech, "…how do you say? _Fantastic_."

Rodney was shocked. The little Czech was normally such a quiet person; McKay never would have thought that he'd had it in him to actually hit someone. And to hit them on _his_ behalf was astounding. "Thank you," he said. "If you feel like having another crack at him, I'll lend you one of my crutches."

"Next time, you can use crutch yourself," Radek replied, smiling. "So, shall we?" He held out his hand and the two of them set off for the lab. He turned to look at his colleague as they walked.

The fact that McKay had not had the strength to take on Kavanaugh worried Zelenka. It was clear that Rodney was not himself. "Dr Brannigan does not blame you, you know. He is naturally upset about his team, is grieving for them, but is glad that you made it." There was no response from beside him other than the sound of McKay's crutches on the floor.

Time to try a different approach. "Do you want to talk about Jones and the others?" Radek asked gently. "I know it is none of my business and I do not wish to pry, but talking can help. Burying your head in the sand won't do you any good."

Rodney stopped, feeling torn. He desperately wanted to tell his friend what had happened, but he couldn't. Even when he'd tried speaking to Sheppard, McKay had found himself unable to vocalise the images in his head. "Eventually," he said after a pause, fighting back the tears. "Eventually, but I can't right now. I know you're trying to help and I'm sorry, it's just…" he trailed off.

"It's okay, Rodney," said Radek, softly. "It must have been awful to see that."

McKay just nodded dumbly.

Radek patted the astrophysicist gently on the back. "Anytime you feel up to it, you come to me."

___________________________________________________________________________

John Sheppard wandered down the corridor. He had just finished reading McKay's report of the events on M8R-383 and had felt a sudden need to go and check on the astrophysicist. It'd been almost a month since he'd rescued his team-mate but he'd hardly seen McKay other than in meetings, and every time he tried to talk to the scientist, Rodney had been distant. He'd heard a variety of rumours circulating on the base and had managed to quash most of them before they got out of hand, but the conversation he'd had with Zelenka troubled him.

According to the Czech, McKay hardly spoke to anyone and when he did, it was barely more than a few syllables. The astrophysicist wouldn't even be baited into an argument. Sheppard had been worried about that. McKay not arguing was about as unlikely as Ronon confessing to owning a stuffed toy. Furthermore, Zelenka had told him, McKay seemed to be… different somehow. A changed man. Almost… haunted.

The Colonel had seen his fair share of death over the years and as a result had become hardened to it, but he knew that Rodney was still just a civilian. Although he and his team had been in some fairly insane situations in the past, they'd at least gone through them together. They'd been able to talk to each other. To help each other through the bad patches.

This was a completely different ball game.

The things that McKay had seen and been through would have been hard for anyone to take in, and the other members of the expedition couldn't even begin to imagine how the Canadian was feeling.

John knew. He'd been there before, back when they'd first arrived. Back when he'd shot Colonel Sumner on that hive ship. He knew that Rodney McKay was in a dark place. Sheppard just hoped that he could pull his friend back out of it.

Sheppard found McKay in his usual place in front of his workbench. He was busily typing on his laptop, hard at work. John smiled to himself as he watched the scientist typing away on his computer.

Elizabeth had told him about their conversation regarding a day off. McKay had argued that he'd already had a sufficiently long enough break and therefore didn't need any more time away from either his work or his lab. She had tried to explain that relaxing and recuperating from major surgery were two completely different things, but McKay wasn't having any of it. Eventually, she had relented and allowed him to return to light duties.

"Anything good?" he asked, grinning as McKay turned around startled.

"How many times?! Don't you_ ever_ knock?"

Sheppard grinned. "Spoils the element of surprise. How's the side?"

McKay absent-mindedly ran his hand along the bandages under his t-shirt. "It aches a bit."

Seemed like Radek wasn't kidding about the lack of talking. John looked at Rodney closely. Although his physical injuries were healing, he wasn't so sure about the scientist's emotional state. "How about you? How are _you_ doing?"

He was sure that McKay was burying himself in his work in an attempt to delay thinking about the inevitable. Following his conversation with Elizabeth, he had also found out that Rodney had refused to see Dr Heightmeyer for counselling. John knew that was a bad sign.

McKay paused for a moment, thinking carefully before answering. "I'm getting there," he said. He looked up at the Colonel and Sheppard saw the pain in the astrophysicist's unusually dull blue eyes. "I haven't accepted it yet, but I'm getting there."

"Rodney, I know it's hard, but if you ever need to talk…" He trailed off, shifting uncomfortably. This wasn't one of his strong points, but he felt he owed it to McKay to at least try. "I'm not so good at this, but I'm just saying that… you know… I… you know where to find me," he finished, a little lamely.

McKay gave him a slight smile. "I appreciate what you're trying to do, Sheppard. Really I do, but it's just…" He trailed off, painfully crossing his arms, aware of the Colonel's piercing gaze.

He suddenly felt a ball of shame in his stomach, and knew that his usual bluster wasn't going to work this time. Not with Sheppard. "I was so _scared_, you know? I couldn't do anything but stay hidden. I couldn't even…" McKay's voice was almost a whisper. He wanted to hide right now, but he forced himself to speak. "I should have been more forceful. I should've _made_ Jones stay put. And then, when that Wraith was… I couldn't _do_ anything. I couldn't help her."

He looked away for a moment, partly surprised that he was able to talk to Sheppard like this. "I… I couldn't… When I…" He took a deep breath, working out the sentence in his head. When he spoke again, his voice shook. "Every time I close my eyes, I see them. All of them. I _keep_ seeing them. I hear their voices. I feel the explosion… Her screams…" He trailed off again, staring at his shaking hands. "It makes me feel sick to think that I survived and they didn't." He suddenly felt angry and ashamed. "Abby Jones was only twenty-three years old, John. _Twenty-three_. It just doesn't seem _fair_, you know?"

John looked at Rodney in sympathy; he could see how badly the recent events had affected him. The scientist had never been this candid with him, usually choosing to disguise his true feelings behind a barrage of long words and sarcasm. "I know. It _isn't_ fair. But you have to move on. It's hard, but you've gotta put it behind you, take a deep breath and jump back in."

Beside him, McKay stared at his computer screen mutely.

"You never get used to it," Sheppard continued. "Believe me, I've been there. But it gets easier. Once you've learnt to accept that sometimes shit happens regardless of what you do, it gets much easier." He laid a hand awkwardly on McKay's shoulder.

McKay nodded, blinking his eyes furiously. He was determined not to mist up in front of Sheppard. "Thank you," he said. He looked away for a moment as if gathering his thoughts, and then turned back, his usual abrupt exterior back in place. "Oh, and by the way, I never said. Thanks for the rescue."

"You're welcome. After all, you've saved my life enough times. Thought I'd repay the favour," said Sheppard, patting him gently on the shoulder.

Clearing his throat in a slightly embarrassed way, he glanced at Rodney's laptop. "So, uh, what're you working on?"

McKay turned back to his computer and frowned. "I managed to save some of the data I collected from the device found at the outpost." He typed for a few seconds, pulling up a schematic of the outpost, and then gestured towards the diagram on the screen. "As it turns out, this device wasn't just a stasis pod. It was actually capable of healing _any_ physical wound, maybe even reversing the aging process inflicted on Wraith victims," he said, excitedly. "Provided that they were still alive, mind you. All you had to do was hop in and a few minutes later, you'd be back to one hundred percent health."

John glanced at the diagram in excitement and awe. "Sweet!"

"Yeah, or at least it would've been if the Wraith hadn't decided to blow the thing to smithereens."

Sheppard frowned. "So that's why they attacked? To blow up the… healing… device or whatever it was?"

McKay rolled his eyes and sighed. "No, they did it because they wanted excitement, adventure and really wild things. What do you think?" he said, his voice full of his usual sarcasm. He didn't notice Sheppard grin in relief. "If you think about it, it makes sense. I mean, why leave a machine that can undo their influence lying around intact? No, much better to get rid of it and carry on with their reign of terror."

"Is there anyway to rebuild it?"

"It's highly unlikely. I have no idea what they made it out of in the first place, or for that matter how it was able to do what it did." He grimaced as a thought struck him. "Not to mention the fact that the majority of my findings were on a laptop that got caught up in the blast." He gave John a rueful smile.

"So I take it that Dr Beckett needn't worry about job security, then?" Sheppard asked.

"No, it looks like Carson isn't going to be out of work just yet. Both he and his voodoo rituals are safe for the time being." He rubbed distractedly at the plaster on his hand. "If that man _ever_ comes near me with a needle again, I swear I'll shoot him in the leg."

"Ah, well, you can't win 'em all." Sheppard glanced at the crutches that were resting against the workstation and an idea struck him. "Hey, Rodney. I haven't signed your cast yet."

McKay looked puzzled. "So? No one has."

Sheppard's eyes darted around and he found a pen. Tugging the cap off, he knelt down and started to scrawl on the plaster cast.

"Hey!" Rodney cried indignantly. "What're you doing?"

"Just hold still a minute, will you?!"

McKay growled under his breath. All he needed was some sarcastic comment from Sheppard left on his cast for all and sundry to see. He glowered at the Colonel as he straightened up, recapping the pen with a flourish.

"There you go!"

McKay looked down at his cast, still expecting to see some abusive comment. He frowned in puzzlement as he read what was there.

"So?" Sheppard asked. "What d'you think?"

Scrawled in John's handwriting, McKay read:

_RODNEY, GET WELL SOON._

_AND GET SOME SLEEP! JOHN._

Next to it was a rather impressive cartoon version of Zelenka wearing a set of those martial arts pyjamas, complete with a pair of Athosian fighting sticks. Obviously, the Colonel had heard about the Czech's takedown of Kavanaugh in the hall.

He looked back up at Sheppard, chuckling. "Thanks," he said simply.

"Don't mention it." Sheppard turned to leave. "Oh, and Rodney?"

McKay sighed in irritation. "What now?" he demanded. "In case you hadn't already noticed, I'm dressed correctly this time, thank you!" He glowered at Sheppard. "Or _have_ you broken something?"

John indicated to McKay's leg. "Crutches plus broken leg equal serious chick magnet. Sympathy vote, you know? If I were you, I'd trade in on that while you still can." He laughed as McKay chucked an empty food pot at him, and then headed off down the corridor, while Rodney settled back down to work.

-FIN-

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Ninja!Radek! BWAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!! You've gotta love my twisted little brain…


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